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IN THE MOUNTAINS OF FIRE by Dolores J. Nurss
Volume
V: Sharing Insanity
Chapter
16
Friday,
November 6, 2708, continued (“You’ll like the company,” Zahir
says,
“Better than me.” He makes the
first
attempt I’ve heard from him to laugh.
“Sometimes I’m such a sullen fellow, Lufti, I can
hardly stand myself.” I
feel stiff and sore from
a full day’s lessons in horseback-riding—the guy has no mercy. He let me nap after dinner awhile,
then
pushed me back to my feet; he said that the walk to the tavern
would do me
good, help stretch the muscles out. A
beer would do me even better; that’s the only thought that
keeps me plodding
along at his side right now instead of murdering him. No,
I don’t mean that. He’s cool,
Zahir, just a little strange at
times, but war has made us all a little strange, each in our
own ways. Sometimes I wonder what
a normal boy my age
would look like. “You didn’t leave your wallet behind,
I hope,”
he remarks. “Nope,”
I say, then
mournfully, “I wish I’d left behind my behind.” He
smacks the offended part
and laughs again. “You’ll heal. Consider it martyrdom for the
cause.” “Sure,
but I’m spending the
night standing at the bar, okay?” “No
problem—with the singer
they’ve got tonight, it’s probably standing room only,
anyway.” As
we approach the tavern,
the first strains of music sounds hauntingly familiar.
It can’t be.
No, of course not—those songs travel all over the
Charadoc these days;
anybody might sing them. Besides,
the
voice sounds too deep. Good
voice,
though—he puts in slight but powerful surges of emotion here
and there with a
skill that I didn’t think any but one could match. Then
we enter the light and
warmth and it is! It is!
It takes more than a beard to change that
face. Damien sees me and he just
lights
up, though he doesn’t miss a beat. I
feel a grin ambush me; I grab the lintel and just gape for
joy. Zahir
looks at me, Damien,
me again, and nods, smiling to himself.
Then he drags me to the bar and orders up our beers. Heaven knows I’ve earned mine, and
every
screaming muscle says I need it, but I hardly taste the brew,
losing myself
into the music and struggling not to cry from the sheer joy of
seeing a
familiar face when I least expect. When
I
finish the mug I find a second at my elbow. “I
didn’t order this,” I
say. The
bartender leans over
and says softly, under the crowd’s din, “Compliments of a
friend of yours, if
you’ll take it in a back room that I can show you.”
I nod and follow him, reluctant to leave the
music behind, though I can still hear some through the walls
of the place that
he leads me to. Furs cushion a
bench
built from the wall’s adobe and a candle flickers on a barrel
serving a table’s
place. The barkeep puts out
bread,
cheese and cold-cuts for me, with some nuts, pickles, and
dried fruit. “Thanks,
but I already had
dinner,” I say over the growling of my stomach. “The
way your wrists and
ankles stick out, kid, you’ve hit a growth-spurt—don’t turn
down free
food.” He’s right; I feel hungry
enough
to eat three men’s rations. “If
you need
a refill, help yourself to the tap over there,” he says,
nodding towards another
barrel. “With the take I expect
to make
tonight, I can afford to be generous.
And I’ve got indoor plumbing behind that curtain, so
you’ve got no call
to go out alone tonight.” That’s
a
sobering enough thought to make me leery of the tap.
“I’ll tell Zahir you’re spending the night;
he’ll send you a horse in the morning.” He
leaves me there, amid
the boxes and barrels and stored odds and ends.
He’s obviously got so many plans zipping around me that
it makes my head
spin without the second beer, so I set it down and look about
me, at the boxes
and barrels, bottles and jars, stuffed and lumpy burlap bags,
hanging sausages
and hams and strings of dried fruit and vegetables, damaged
furniture, seasonal
decorations and faded old posters. How
did
he get advance warning of me, anyway?
The Marsts—it has to be. Do
I
trust them enough to think that they know who to trust?
Do I have a choice? Deirdre
always says to scan
any place you find yourself in, to check out whatever might
serve you for a
weapon or a place to hide, what might prove a liability or a
bargaining chip. Like that
table-leg over there, awaiting
reattachment. I consider also
keeping an
eye out for loot, but that doesn’t feel right; I shouldn’t rob
a guy who gives
me free food and beer. I
find a full-length mirror
leaning against some crates. A
mirror
shard can make an okay dagger, if you have something tough to
hold it in, like
that goatskin bar-rag over there. But
I’m
tired of war-thinking. I’d
rather
study the dusty reflection in the dim candlelight. That’s
me? Taller, of course; I should
expect that. My hair has grown,
too, since last I looked,
brushing my shoulders like a girl’s; I’ll need to cut it,
first chance I get. (Then again,
Kief used to wear his hair long,
and nobody ever
called him girlish. In fact, lots
of rebels do; it’s not like we
can just waltz into a barber shop any time we please.)
I’ve got a girl’s waist, too, though no
curves to go with it—seems I haven’t changed my size so much
as stretched up
what I had. And my face isn’t
quite so
round anymore—even at my hungriest I always had a roundish
face, before. That’s one change,
at least, that doesn’t
look the least bit girlish. My
face has
angles now, almost rugged, even. “I’m
not a little boy
anymore,” I say, because there’s a kind of magic in saying it
out loud. “That’s
for sure!” Damien
says behind me and laughs. We run
into
each other’s arms and hug, and pound each other’s backs, then
push each other
away to take a good look, grinning, and hug each other again. “You’re a great, big, strapping boy,
and next
time I see you I expect a beard.” His
own
has grown in thick and dark, not wispy like most mountainfolk. He winks and asks, “Any beard down
below
yet?” “No!”
I say and feel my face
go hot. “Well, maybe a little.” We
take a seat on the furs
(he does; I sort of half-kneel, very gingerly, curling up my
legs and leaning
on the side of one hip) and he says, “I’ve only got this short
break to talk,
so tell me what you know while the night is young.”
While he can still memorize it all, he
means. Quickly I fill him in on
the
codes being compromised, Kiril’s situation, and General Aliso
being on the
move. He
already knows something
about Aliso; in fact he came here tonight to get more word on
her. I give him her latest known
position. “Rest here tonight,” he
tells me, “and take
advantage of whatever the barkeep has to offer—let him pack
your saddlebags
full tomorrow, too, and don’t worry about paying; I’ve taken
care of that. You might have a
hard road, come day.” Uh...saddlebags? I
nod, but then ask, “What
about you? Tell me news that has
nothing
to do with war.” He
grins and blurts, “I’m
going to be a father! There’s no
doubt
anymore. I don’t know how she
managed
it, with all that she’s been through, but Kanarik’s ripening
up like the
sweetest little melon you ever laid eyes on, and it’s mine all
mine.” We
laugh and toast the
coming child. Then I remember the
Marsts
and their provisions for the future.
“How you gonna to feed the kid, Damien?
Last I heard Abojan Pass was under siege.” “Oh,
we took care of that,”
he says, but a little more solemnly.
“We’ve secured the smuggling routes.”
He shoves up his sleeve and shows me a new scar on his
arm. “That’s how I came by this.” He laughs.
“Bards have the luck, you know, to get grazed this
close without real
damage. Anyway, Mrs. Abojan’s
found a
market for her embroidery through South Stovak and beyond. She’s selling everything, even stuff
she made
fifty years ago and swore she’d never part with.
No use holding onto heirlooms, she says, when
she has no heirs; the altar-cloths and vestments she made for
the chapel will
suffice for her posterity.” His
smile
briefly leaves him; does the old woman still believe that any
would dare finish
the chapel now? He tells me,
“She’ll
hold back only the sheets that she adorned for her and Hara’s
shrouds—at her age,
she says, that’s her only need.” I
nod over my mug. “She’s a good
woman, Deni Abojan.” “A
mother to us all,”
Damien agrees. As he gets us both
refills, he tells me, “Besides, I slip out all the time,
spreading the good
word far and wide and collecting information while I’m at it. I didn’t like it at first, leaving
Kanarik so
long, but I can pick up nice things for her on the way—her and
the future
child.” He hands me mine and
draws deep
upon his own, grinning again with froth in his beard.
“Man—future child. I
like the sound of that.” “And
after the war?” I ask,
after a draught of my own. “Why,
after the war, I’ve
got a career in music!” He
brandishes
his thambriy proudly. “You’ve
seen the
crowds I draw. Once I get the
price off
my head I can have recording contracts and everything!”
Then he shrugs. “Even if
I don’t make it big, I can find
steady work in clubs and stuff. I
can do
what I like best for the rest of my life, Lufti, and feed my
daughter doing
it.” “Daughter?” “Well,
Kanarik’s hoping for
a son, but I want a daughter just as pretty as her.
If everything works out, I’ll get her singing
and dancing lessons, maybe acting or juggling, maybe
acrobatics, just see what
she takes to. Then we can hit the
road
as a family. All this rebel-work
has
given me a taste for travel, and Kana feels the same way.” The
barkeep leans in and
shouts, “You’re on, Bard—the crowd’s getting antsy!” “In
a minute,” Damien calls
back. “Anyway, Kanarik’s gotten
so good
at fancy needlework, even with one hand, that she can make all
the costumes we
desire. We’ve got a future,
whatever
happens.” “It
all sounds wonderful,
Damien.” Maybe I shouldn’t be having this last beer; why else
would I blurt
out, “But what if she turns out like Aichi?” before I even
realize what I’ve
said. “I’ve
thought of that,” he
says, very quietly, and now his smile looks sad but strong. “Kana lost a lot of blood with her
arm, and
during the siege she didn’t eat the way a mother needs.
But Lufti, I’d love that baby any way God
makes her. You gotta know that. Even if all she can do is sweep the
stage
between acts, I’ll feel proud of her, so long as she does her
best job; I’ll
always find a place for her in my life.
Maybe she won’t even walk or talk—I’ve seen ‘em like
that. Maybe she’ll only gurgle
her pleasure at my
singing from the wings. But
sometimes
the simple tunes can sound as sweet as symphonies.
I love her already, Lufti, and she’s just a
swelling melon right now, not doing much of anything.” “Then
let’s drink to the
future,” I say, and we click our mugs together. “BAAAAARRRRD!”
calls the
barkeep. “On
my way!” He finishes his beer,
winks at me, and says,
“Is there no end to service?” before going out the door.) Is
there no end to service? Something
in my
head shouts “Wake up! Wake up!”
over and
over till at last I have to force my eyes open, staring at the
twigs and dirt
and last year’s leaves decaying. Then
I
groan and push myself from the ground to my knees.
Then...wait a minute. Why
did I lie down here, alone, without
camping gear, on twigs and stones, in the middle of the forest? Betany! I have to find her!
I leap to my feet, reel against a tree, push
myself away, and force myself back to searching. Is that blood
over there? Yes.
Yes it is. Hers?
I think so.
That way, then. Why’n’earth
did
I fall asleep in the middle of something so urgent? |
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