By Dolores J. Nurss

Volume VII: The Burning

Chapter 21



I dreamed of the palanquin coming out into the fields, from the worker's perspective, and the resentment at the plump maid whispering in the Master's ear, and the sight of him eating narcotic pastries.  But in my dream the scene happened in spring, so I included a spring reference here.  I suppose Deirdre probably did pick up the thought in spring, when passing the other way, but it only became relevant the next year.  Fitting it in here puts the revelation closer to the action that will eventually follow.  I made up the Deirdre parts around it, as a frame.

The puppet reference ties in to a dream used for the next chapter.  This chapter would have been too long to put both sections together, though, so I cut it off here.  And Zanne did meet someone in Vanikke who appeared to have sockets instead of eyes in another dream.

          As for Deirdre suddenly becoming frightened of her trance and trying to wake up, my personal experience of PTSD makes relaxation feel dangerous, safety a perilous illusion.  Everything reassuring seems like a trap.  It has taken most of my life to let myself feel safe, sometimes, and to not jolt back immediately away from the concept as a betrayal.  When everything goes well, one's hair stands on end, wondering what sort of menace goes unnoticed till too late.

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