of Kiril whispering to me about it being snack time, and about eating anger and
pretending that it's love. Although I
became overweight upon menopause, I don't eat emotionally and it does not
particularly comfort me. My worst
food-habit is ignoring my hunger till I can't think anymore, and then just
grabbing whatever is quick and most likely to stay my hunger for as long as
possible till the next time it interrupts whatever I'd rather do than eat. While dreams do give health-related
information frequently, this doesn't quite fit my needs on the literal level.
So what does this mean
symbolically? I did (and sometimes still
do) have a bad habit of swallowing back anger and convincing myself that this
is the loving thing to do. But it's not;
it only means that the accumulated frustration will explode at some
inappropriate moment (since I have deigned not to let it out in some conscious and
therefore controlled way) to blow something barely related out of
proportion. I'm learning to do better
After this point on the internal
timeline, I have dreamed of Kiril shooting or carrying a rifle. So I wrote a scene to explain the transition.
Deirdre's dream afterwards, about the
flooding hospital, was my own and I thought of myself as Deirdre in it. I worked in a hospital at the time, although
it didn't resemble the hospital in my dream.
Repressed needs and emotions, from the demands of the job, built up a
storm and threatened to flood me. I
daresay Deirdre felt similar.