I dreamed of a guilty party,
where a woman blessed me who I somehow understood would curse me if she knew
the truth, if she knew that I bore responsibility for the very thing that she
thought that I opposed. And what does it
say about me, that I have dreams like that?
Is it any wonder that I feared so badly to publish this tale?
It says that I have a Shadow. Something we all have and none of us really
wants to admit. Yet all joys feel false
until we do.
The dreams of Luftiís ride
continue. I know that this drug-fueled
marathon went on for a dangerously long time, days and nights on end. His mission, actually rather general, did not
require that much haste, but the more he pushed himself by mind-altering means,
the more urgent it felt to him. In the
same way I can sometimes blow out of all proportion recommendations into
demands, and knock myself out on minor issues to the point of disabling my
ability to do major things, without any chemicals to blame. The pain I suffered in those days came from
doing way too much overtime.
I researched and wrote
Zanneís part, based on a generalized dream of traveling in search of the Junkfood
Queen. Much to my surprise, red calcites
often do contain arsenic, including those that also contain cobalt. As Iíve mentioned, magentine is a
transdimensional variant of cobalt-laced calcite. And arsenic fit the effects that I observed
in the madness epidemic.
Why do I dream, in the 21st
century, of the poisonous wares of the Junkfood Queen, when I havenít eaten
cookies since 1989, and avoid processed foods generally? Perhaps the dreams warn of the processed
thought-fodder so widespread in our day?
Sweetened with brain-poison guised as something healthful?