I based the reminiscences of Ozwald and
Guaril on a dream I had of them on February 19, 2015:
ďIím a young, risingly successful
salesman for a large corporation. A
friend gets in trouble with a mysterious organization (?) right when I lose my
job. In helping him and his friends to
hide, I wind up on the run, myself. We
find a place to hole up and tend the bullet wound of one of our number. I go to buy as many groceries as I can before
liquidating my assets. My girlfriendís
in on it. As I drive a car crammed with
supplies, I reflect on how lucky I am that I donít have kids to worry about in
this crisis, and that I have Romani blood.
I realize that my life has changed forever.Ē
I do have some Romani blood (A great,
great grandfather) yet Iíve spent most of my life dreading change. Iíve come to realize that change is the
normal human state, and the dream reminded me that sometimes instability brings
advantage in a hostile world. I remember
the friend as a blonde kidóI need to defend something that Iíve shoved into
Shadow: the part of me that could actively embrace the insecurity of
adventure. This doesnít mean discarding
prudence; the dream shows me stocking up on supplies, taking care of the
practical side. But it does mean
accepting sudden shifts in my fortunes.
And in fact my life changed forever
soon after. My grandmother died that
March, the day before what would have been her 99th birthday. And Iím still trying to sort out what life
means without her powerful presence.
As for the rat, I dreamed that it kept
tracking us no matter where we went.
How many times have I dreamed of
crouching in a tree, waiting for soldiers to pass? It took some effort to distinguish this
memory from many others, but I did indeed dream of Deirdreís quest for Betany,
trying to destroy the trail, fending off soldiers along the way, and repeatedly
blinking on a different scene, suddenly aware of having fallen asleep, over and
over. This dream extends into the next
My dream (this one most detailed of a
series) tried to tell me that I wasnít conscious enough in a perilous situation
at that time (decades earlier than the Vanikke dream.) I ignored warning signs and a blatant vision,
and wound up financially ruined, because I fell into the sleep of a society
that does not take visions seriously.
Had we moved to Arizona when the vision said to, my husband and I would
have dodged the dot-com crash and avoided three years of misery.
I invented Alisoís scene. Honestly, I didnít dream very much of her
directly, just of the rebel awareness of her.