IN THE MOUNTAINS OF FIRE


By Dolores J. Nurss

Volume III: Responsibility

Chapter 398

THE ECSTASY OF SACRIFICE

DREAM NOTES

 

          I dreamed as Deirdre of her ecstatic meltdown, as the snow seemed to form into Mountain Maidens.  The prior fasting-scenes that I dreamed offer an explanation.  Maybe.

          And this dream explains why I had so many prior sacrifice-for-the-kids dreams in the first place.    As a teen and child, myself, I got a steady diet of hearing how much others sacrificed for me, with detailed descriptions of the physical pain of blue-collar labor, to the point where I came to believe that work didn’t count unless it hurt, that suffering was inherently noble, and ultimately that I could not prove my worth until my health collapsed.  And indeed, I got no respect in my family, no matter how many merit-raises, bonuses and awards I earned in office work, no matter how long my hours, till I developed chronic pain.  These dreams tried to tell me that that ethic doesn’t work.

          I dreamed, too, of huddling in the shepherd's cote.  So, I expect, Cyran & Co. would have stuffed Deirdre in here after she cracked.  And I dreamed of why Cyran would have a devotion to St. Dymphna.  As for the cave visited by Changewright, that also I have dreamed.

          I knew for years that Lumne Island was the farthest reach of Toulin.  Only very recently, however, did I learn that there really is a Lummi Island, at least, up here in the Pacific Northwest.   

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