I continued the dream that
ended the last chapter by finding Imad in the sacred pool, dying of his
burns. I dreamed it shortly after
leaving my transcription-job, disabled by it and burnt-out, and also dealing
with some serious, unrelated, forgiveness issues. I had hatreds that I needed to let die. Maybe I was also burnt-out on being angry.
I made up General Aliso’s
musings, to foreshadow things dreamed.
I also made up the reunion
conversation after Imad’s death. But I
knew, as background information in other dreams, that Madame had died in the fire,
and that the fire had also destroyed the harp.
As for Lucinda’s concussion, that shows up in dreams recounted later.
I dreamed , as Deirdre, of searching for Little Bertha in
the slums of Rhallunn, with Jacob Keller. It all seems so vivid to me now that
I no longer remember which details I dreamed, and which I added later. I could
not move on in my life until I had allowed my bad mental image of my mother to
die, with love and respect.
I know at least that that bit of red silk with the beads on
it came from the dream. Left to my own
writing I would not have made it silk—a material even more precious there than
here. I can think of no sumbolism for
the silk, except maybe something of great value, unappreciated. The only context I can think of for the beads
is that, in San Diego, the beach communities which my dreams transformed into
Rhallunn (showing traces of the same buildings and landmarks in ruins, and
crowding the streets with hovels and trash) are very good places to buy beads. A reminder, perhaps, of the creativity in
And why would Deirdre also have this dream? The literal
flashbacks of PTSD dreams are not, in themselves, bad luck,
but they remind us of our misfortunes and so could be misinterpreted
that way. Perhaps this came up for Deirdre because the
time had come for her, too, to forgive her mother—because, at that
had increasingly had to confront her own dark side, and could no longer
judge. Perhaps Imad’s good example
exerted that much positive influence in her life.